The tongue is the only muscle in the human body that never gets tired [talking].

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

For where belief dwells, the spider may not stir, neither by day nor by night.

This woman is a virus and she’s eating me alive.

I don't think of my songs as sad songs. I think of them as vulnerable and honest. I crack jokes in between songs, so people don't leave feeling too dark.

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.

I can't believe we've got away with becoming this huge band. And we still haven't done anything I think is that good yet.

I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States

How can we trust a religion that has advocated slavery and the subjugation of women throughout history?

I'm very scared sometimes that fashion might attack its own magic by the amount of exposure.

If Art relates itself to an Object, it becomes descriptive, divisionist, literary.

When men in relationships have more money, we say they have the power. When women in relationships have more money, we say they are being used.