The towers fell, and the first thing that went through my head was my dad's voice: 'Well, you brought a new life into the world, and the world's over. Nice timing, numbnuts!

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

I think we are in rats’ alley

Documentary evidence says where there is smoke there is fire, be it holy smoke or otherwise.

Rediscovering the wisdom of love and compassion may help us survive at a time when an increasingly balkanized world so badly needs it.

Every kid's dream is to play in the Champions League and to win it. To actually have achieved that was an amazing feeling.

There is a world of difference between a Mahler eighth note and a normal eighth note.

We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values.

Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

Freedom, morality, and the human dignity of the individual consists precisely in this; that he does good not because he is forced to do so, but because he freely conceives it, wants it, and loves it.

You're not a wave, you're a part of the ocean.

We must be sure to be governed by inner principle and not outer pressure.