The trick is always to write in pairs because if at least two people find it funny, you've immediately halved the odds of it not being funny.

I did not become successful in my work through embracing or engaging in celebrity culture. I never signed away my privacy in exchange for success.

If you chase something too desperately, it eludes you.

When I was a student I was very, very ambitious, completely immersed in my comedy career. I never had that period of reckless hedonism that you should get out of your system in your youth.

I don't like big feet. It reminds me of gammon.

If things don't come easy to you, you have to pull a rabbit out of a hat.

Me, myself, personally, I like to keep myself private. I have never said I am a paragon of virtue, a model of morality. I simply do what I do.

The truth is somewhere in the middle of funny and serious.

I think if you try to look for something to show off as an actor, vanity can get the better of you.

I am of the very last generation who didn't have computers at school. As we grow old we'll become something of an aberration.

Actually the best thing I did was to get thrown out by my wife. She's living with a fitness instructor. He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. He's an idiot.

The worm’s bad luck is the bird’s good fortune.

I mean, I've always said I have an amazing team and network of friends and people that I work with that, you know, inspire me and enable me to do what I do.

I guess that I've always wanted to be a Bond villain.

We need to continue to make the case that Michigan is where you ought to be.

Painting predicates what man wants to see, and what man ought to see, not what he ordinarily sees.

In man, reason quickens and guides feelings; in brute, the soul lies ever dormant.

Earn your leadership every day.

I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over the stage fright and perform, but then you're not funny at all.

I'm a musician - I'm always making music. Kobe Bryant is always playing ball. Well, Snoop Dogg is always recording.

A man's wisdom is his best friend; folly, his worst enemy.