The trouble is that things never get better, they just stay the same, only more so.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Appreciation, affection, focus and intention fill up the space of self-reflection, and one loses oneself in the engagement. And what a relief it is when you get there.

You’re covered in blood again.”“I really am.” “Why are you always covered in blood when I wake up after being unconscious?” “Usually for the same reason you were unconscious, I think.

Capital punishment is as fundamentally wrong as a cure for crime as charity is wrong as a cure for poverty.

There are no 'come shoot me' clothes.

People have the freedom to say what they want, and I get it - mean stuff sells better than nice stuff.

Gratitude never radicalized anybody. I don't care if they recognize the past, I just want them to get angry about the present and keep going.

A friend is someone with whom I can reveal many parts of me, even those I am meeting for the first time.

When I hear anything derogatory towards the Raiders, I am definitely hurt.

It's not my fault who I am. The only think that's my fault is what I choose to do

I do everything I do to pay tribute to my great-grandfather.