The trouble with Germans is not that they fire shells, but that they engrave them with quotations from Kant.

The streets of Vienna are paved with culture, the streets of other cities with asphalt.

Someone who can write aphorisms should not fritter away his time in essays.

Corruption is worse than prostitution. The latter might endanger the morals of an individual, the former invariably endangers the morals of the entire country.

I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up.

The sound principle of a topsy-turvy lifestyle in the framework of an upside-down world order has stood every test.

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer.

Newspapers have roughly the same relationship to life as fortune-tellers to metaphysics.

Christianity has enriched the erotic meal with the appetizer of curiosity and spoiled it with the dessert of remorse.

The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people worse than they are.

The doors to parenthood are accessible to all who know the codes and have the right keys.

(talking about his father) 230 pounds of nickels in Sears slacks.

Almost all quality improvement comes via simplification of design, manufacturing... layout, processes, and procedures.

Growing up, I've enjoyed hunting with my father.

They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.

Oh, God, puppy dog eyes. From a six-foot-five ancient Viking vampire.

Nothing replaces real-life experience. Of course, I say this as someone who went to law school.

Minimalism now is a reaction to what came before. It's absolutely of its time. Music moved into the set theory thing, and moved out of it.

As long you feel complete, loved and happy with a purpose, and you have the appreciation for every little thing that surrounds you, that's success for me.

When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves... well.