The trouble with life was that you didn’t get a chance to practice before doing it for real.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

If where you are is worthwhile then where you are from doesn't matter.

A mind that tastes the grief obtains a good chance to travel to the Land of Wisdom!

I want to affirm that thinking and living, knowing and doing, theory and practice intersect.

I don't deserve this award but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

The nails from a suicide's coffin, and the skull of the parricide, were of course no trouble; for Vesquit never traveled without these household requisites.

A good supply of resignation is of the first importance in providing for the journey of life.

Try to produce your own films, avoid directing for hire.

There's so much going on. I almost never have a moment.

I think being an artist and taking on those challenges is just how it is for me. Because I was always a foreigner, I was always the outsider.

I would prefer not to be in a car with someone who can't really drive that well!