The truth is, I wrote a novel when I was 23. It's hideously bad. Truly rotten.

Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.

Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know where their high school yearbook is and those who do not.

If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.

Unless you are a professional, you will find the tart to be a high-maintenance, unforgiving whistle-blower of a pastry.

I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.

Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.

No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.

Uniqueness is wasted on youth. Like fine wine or a solid flossing habit, you'll be grateful for it when you're older.

I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.

You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel.

I know it's a lot. But she can handle it. I'd rather ruin her with the truth than ruin her with lies.

Every arena of life intersects with what's going on in our hearts. Everything passes through on its way to wherever it's going. Everything.

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid raceBut that won't be much funWhen we're floating in space.

Do you know what is more hard to bear than the reverses of fortune? It is the baseness the hideous ingratitude of man.

I grew up in a Christian home with amazing parents.

Be kind. Be courteous. Love others and be happy. It's that simple.

A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and got big.

I’ve always thought of myself as shy.

There's nothing on it worthwhile, and we're not going to watch it in this household, and I don't want it in your intellectual diet.