The truth is very few of us are related to Napoleon or Cleopatra. Although, those are bad examples as I am actually descended from both of them.

I don't care if I'm funny. I just want people to believe I'm that guy.

In all of our lives, we know some boring people, but we don't want to see them on television. In our families, we have some very odd people who have odd neurosis. All of us are really strange people.

A sense of humour is the only divine quality of man

Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.

It will pass, whatever it is.

I've become a body of films, not a man, I am all those films.

That which does not kill you usually circles around and tries again.

I think that comedians, more than any other type of celebrity, have to keep their humour and keep their feet on the ground. If they start taking themselves too seriously, they're heading for a fall.

The answers I remember longest are the ones that answer questions that I didn't think of asking.

We grew to know the meaning of love. That is what allowed me and my family to stay close together.

Michael Vick healthy in the pocket, as a pocket passer, puts the fear of Doug Flutie in me. Michael Vick running around with all his legs (healthy) puts the fear of God.

Cher wanted to be an entertainer more than I've seen anybody want to be an entertainer in my life.