The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

The purpose of lifeis to give our life purpose.

Nothing short of the Almighty Power of God can Save us - it is not in our Numbers, our Union, or our Valour that I dare trust.

Roman Catholicism: a hundred million people bowing down before a flesh-hating, elderly celibate.

..Critically intervene in a way that challenges and changes.

You'll never get to be a saint if you deny the bit of the devil in you.

Practice like it's a game; play the game like it's practice.

Can you imagine a writer in England influencing? Absolutely not. And in France? It used to be, but no more-absolutely not. France used to, at least, have writers as diplomats, but not any more.

I shall attack Chemistry, like a Shark.

I don't think we live in a particularly equal society.

A good procrastination should feel like you're inserting lots and lots of commas into the sentence of your life.