The truth will set you free...unless you want to know the truth about who killed JFK.

What am I grateful for? Aside from my own great life, you mean? I'm just grateful that my wife, and daughter, and dogs are all healthy.

If you tell a lie that's big enough, and you tell it often enough, people will believe you're telling the truth, even if what you're saying is total crap.

Anybody who thinks there's not a vast right-wing conspiracy in this country must also think that Ken Starr should be our next ambassador to Luxembourg.

I've known Chevy Chase for so long, I actually knew him when he was funny!

It's this patronizing thing that people have about if you're against the war everyone's lumped together. You know, the soldiers are not scholars, they're not war experts.

Civil liberties, good. Lawyers, bad.

Do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back and your job back.

Beware the ideas of March... just one little letter changes the whole meaning. I love the way worms can do that.

Only once you believe that success is possible, then success becomes possible

That which is repeated too often becomes insipid and tedious.

Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.

Just as when water is frozen in to a form as ice and then melts - so at the time of death, there is no death. The spirit simply changes form.

I think if you're going to show a true representation of any one life, it can't be about any one thing. I try to see more of a full picture, with the romance just a single part.

I get asked a lot why Apple's customers are so loyal. It's not because they belong to the Church of Mac! That's ridiculous.

For if Chloe likes Olivia and Mary Carmichael knows how to express it she will light a torch in that vast chamber where nobody has yet been.

It does not follow that the meaning must be given from above; that life and suffering must come neatly labeled; that nothing is worth while if the world is not governed by a purpose.

A light to guide, a rod To check the erring, and reprove.