The two most dangerous things in the world are rich people and crazy people.

You're miserable, edgy and tired. You're in the perfect mood for journalism.

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.

If you believe that your thoughts originate inside your brain, do you also believe that television shows are made inside your television set?

Read comics. All comics. And then cut them open to steal their power.

I want a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY PARAMEDIC SHITBAG OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER

That means that the universe is two-dimensional. Matter, energy, time, you, me and the floor are holograms.

The single simplest reason why human space flight is necessary is this, stated as plainly as possible: keeping all your breeding pairs in one place is a retarded way to run a species.

Wolves ate even mighty hunters, for there was no honor or code among predators, and everyone's guts steam the same way when torn open on a cold night.

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!

What if I left my memory in the future and I have to catch up to it?

He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make his words good.

You never know how long you have-there might not BE a later-so don't let things go unsaid or unforgiven.

As a child I was an inveterate liar. As opposed to now, I am a Novelist.

I'll never die. I'll just explode, right there before your eyes, onstage.

I've met enough KGB colonels in my life.

To me the sole hope of human salvation lies in teaching.

If you hope to be independent when there is money, you'll never reach it. On this world, humans can only safely have the knowledge, experience and ability

However far modern science and techniques have fallen short of their inherent possibilities, they have taught mankind at least one lesson; nothing is impossible.

Jealousy is cruel as a tomb, its embers are embers of fire.

One of the things that characterizes good intellectual work is a certain self-importance