The two questions that anyone ever asks me are: 'Are house prices going to go down?' and 'Is it a good time to fix my mortgage rate?'

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

It's not a bad idea to occasionally spend a little time thinking about things you take for granted. Plain everyday things.

In principle, there are only three main components of spending that much matter to monetary policy: consumer spending, business investment and exports and trade.

We are more likely to cheat if we see others doing so. We tend to conform to accepted norms of reasonable behaviour, rather than adhere to strict rules.

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

If you're not making some mistakes, it probably means you're not trying hard enough.

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know when they're pissed off. We just don't know in what order these are gonna come at us.

It's amazing, if you know what you want to say, how fast it is to write.

Being funny, it turns out, is like being a bank. It's a confidence trick. As long as everyone believes in you, you are fine.

But sometimes it's good to dare yourself to do the unthinkable. And rather than stand in front of an audience with no clothes on, I decided to have a go at stand-up comedy.

The volume of credit depends upon three factors: the desire to borrow, the ability to lend and the desire to lend.

Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!

I try to stay away from certain stuff - I'm not a perfect human being. I try to represent myself as much as a good person could. I stay around the positive people.

The best performances, are those that can be performed once.

Without faith, without belief in something, what are we?

One's task is not to turn the world upside down, but to do what is necessary at the given place and with a due consideration of reality.

Most people are ego-sensitive, not life-sensitive.

People are very comfortable when race relations get looked at retrospectively. Slavery, the civil rights movement, etc.

This condition [irony] has nothing to do with writer's block, a psychological syndrome, which is one of the few I have not diagnosed for myself!

See you soon (but not soon enough).