The universe was bad enough without people poking it.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Inaction is the worst action of human beings!

When I was 12, I forgot the keys to my parent's apartment. So I simply climbed up seven floors to get in.

Walk in this faithless grass with studious tread, Lest mice, weasels, germane beasts, too soon The tall hat and eyes, the fierce feet, for dead Descry, and fix you prone in their revelling moon.

Cinema Paradiso, because it reminds me of why I make movies, the magic of movies, the romance of movies.

Do unto others what you want done unto you.

If anyone were to ask me what I want out of life I would say- the opportunity for doing something useful, for in no other way, I am convinced, can true happiness be attained.

If you decide you don't have to get A's, you can learn an enormous amount in college.

I'm sure that when my daughter will bring home her first boyfriend I'll? be so intimidating that he'll run away, but embarrassing as well, just to have a bit of fun.

Before impugning an opponent's motives, even when they legitimately may be impugned, answer his arguments.

Work hard, play fair, be kind to all living creatures, and take a moment to just sit back and breathe.