The very existence of the bicycle is an offense to reason and wisdom.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Put me down, I’m too heavy.”“You’re small enough to fit in my pocket.

It was 5:45pm when I decided my future. By 9:43 I was well on my way to making it all come true. At 11:16 I took the first step to make it a reality. At 11:17 I fell and found peace.

Then forget Gabriel. Is there a particular reason you keep biting vampires?" Will touched the dried blood on his wrists, and smiled. "They don't expect it.

I sometimes like to watch a good, dark, disturbing movie.

The words of a wise man's mouth are gracious; but the lips of a fool will swallow up himself.

Time has lost all meaning in that nightmare alley of the Western world known as the American mind.

I know. I seriously need to just give up men entirely. I wonder if Episcopalians can enter convents?

Social networking sites like Myspace, Friendster, and Facebook have literally exploded in popularity in just a few short years.

I love to be in front of big galleries

The Christian's life should put his minister's sermon in print.