The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?

You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.

The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13.75. Walked back out in the street - genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.

Fifty per cent of all marriages end in divorce. But look at the bright side: the other 50 per cent end in death.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.

Say whatever you want. But the United States has a kickass military and really good bullshit marketing people. If this country was a person it would be a used car salesman with a flamethrower.

If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.

When you address and acknowledge unpleasant realities, your creativity begins to soar and you come up with apparently magical solutions to problems.

I am not afraid I was born to do this.

Singing about being rescued will never get old. Never.

In the haunted shade of the Ateneo, her hands wrote a curse on my skin that was to hound me for years.

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.

In any triangle, who is the betrayer, who the unseen rival, and who the humiliated lover? Oneself, oneself, and no one but oneself!

Very often your attitude about why an accident or illness has happened has an effect on your recuperation.

Five years of Republicans' failed energy policies have resulted in Americans paying twice as much at the pump as they did in 2001, while big oil companies make triple the profits.

Feeling loves a subdued light.

Marketing is designed to bring people into something.