The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

If "IT" doesn't break you, you have the opportunity to overtake "IT"!

Oh captain my captain

He stuck a camera down my throat....ewwww, I gagged!!! It was kinda funny though.....he said I have "Acute Laryngitis".

If we learn anything from the history of economic development, it is that culture makes all the difference.

All night long if you want. We'll tell our secrets to the dark.

As love and joy flood our streets today, it is hard to imagine how anyone could deny the full protection of our laws to any of our fellow Americans - but there are those who would.

When you imitate the enemy's tactics, you take on his liabilities.

My own words take me by surprise and teach me what to think.

I know a lot of successful people and none of them are stupid.

I know most people always thank people for believing in them - I actually want to thank people that didn't believe in me.