The way our luck has been lately, our fellas have been getting hurt on their days off.

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they're successful.

Gettin' good players is easy. Gettin' 'em to play together is the hard part.

The secret of successful managing is to keep the five guys who hate you away from the four guys who haven't made up their minds.

See that fella over there? He's 20 years old. In 10 years, he's got a chance to be a star. Now that fella over there, he's 20 years old, too. In 10 years he's got a chance to be 30.

When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.

He'd (Yogi Berra) fall in a sewer and come up with a gold watch.

Now there's three things you can do in a baseball game: You can win or you can lose or it can rain.

A man cannot own more than his heart can love.

Emotions have cycles whereas love endures. Some people confuse emotions, which are ever-changing, with love's durability.

And what is enlightenment anyway but delusions we can live with?

Blood is drawn! I am impressed-though my hell-spawned powers will heal it! Besides... next to giving pain my favourite sport's to feel it.

Twenty-five hundred years ago it might have been said that man understood himself as well as any other part of the world. Today he is the thing he understands least.

Whenever he composes a critical review, I have been told, he gets an enormous erection.

The greatest threat to America is not foreign terrorists, its domestic morons.

I open my heart, knowing that love guides my every decision. All is well.

Put the uncommon effort into the common task... make it large by doing it in a great way.

War is not some sort of Nintendo video game.