The way the neurotic sees it: bars on his door mean that he's locked in; bars on your door mean that he's locked out.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

It's the most unhappy people who most fear change.

A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him.

It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't.

The head never rules the heart, but just becomes its partner in crime.

We lavish on animals the love we are afraid to show to people. They might not return it; or worse, they might.

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.

We choose those we like; with those we love, we have no say in the matter.

They threaten me with lung cancer, and still I smoke and smoke. If they'd only threaten me with hard work, I might stop.

Pity all newlyweds. She cooks something nice for him, and he brings her flowers, and they kiss and think: How easy marriage is.

Affirmations are our mental vitamins, providing the supplementary positive thoughts we need to balance the barrage of negative events and thoughts we experience daily.

Great soul

I do not understand men. They spend their lives to use their health to make money and then they spend their money to restore their health.

Dance with the one who brung ya.

In the wind, the trees, like agitated lions preparing to roar, shook their great green manes.

There are two types of Chinese growing up in America. One is the kind that does really well in school, with thick, thick glasses. And the other is involved with the gangs.

The teaching process is lengthy because there are many, many states of mind to go through. And in each state of mind there is a different aggregate of self to be explored.

I'm ready to run a studio. I'm ready to green light movies, and be in it to win it, you know? It's close. It'll happen.

It is difficult not to write satire.

One sits the whole day at the desk and appetite is standing next to me. "Away with you," I say. But Comrade Appetite does not budge from the spot.