The web of life is a beautiful and meaningless dance. The web of life is a process with a moving goal. The web of life is a perfectly finished work of art right where I am sitting now.

The function of law and theology are the same: to keep the poor from taking back by violence what the rich have stolen by cunning.

The fear of death is the beginning of slavery.

You should view the world as a conspiracy run by a very closely-knit group of nearly omnipotent people, and you should think of those people as yourself and your friends.

You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.

In conlusion, there is no conclusion. Things will go on as they always have, getting weirder all the time.

The rapists of the intellectual world become politicians; the seducers become artists.

Philadelphia merely seems dull because it's next to exciting Camden, New Jersey.

Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.

History, sociology, economics, psychology et al. confirmed Joyce's view of Everyman as victim.

My own opinion is that belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence.

The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore.

Lydia: Strange how you always remember the pain someone gave you, but seldom the hurt you caused them.

Now here's a good one:you're lying on your deathbed.You have one hour to live.Who is it, exactly, you have neededall these years to forgive?

No one wants to die with vacation time on the books.

A yogi is one who leaves a place a little nicer than when they arrived.

All of my books have the potential to become movies, it's just a question of finding a studio who wants to get behind me and put up the money to make the movie.

Any country that has Milton Friedman as an adviser has nothing to fear from a few million Arabs.

Set no time to the Lord the creator of time, for His time is always best.

As snap-backs became more popular, I started to search and expand my hat game.

Self-ruled Taiwan cannot be expected to accept such an affront to the legitimacy of its government and the self-determination of the Taiwanese people.