The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Laughter is the valve on the pressure cooker of life. Either you laugh and suffer, or you got your beans or brains on the ceiling.

you aren't what you eat - you are what you don't poop.

We are all the same person trying to shake hands with our self.

We can make a difference and have fun doing it

Laughter is the valve on the pressure cooker of life.

we're all bozos on the bus, so might as well sit back and enjoy the ride.

Good morning! What we have in mind is breakfast in bed for four hundred thousand.

Sure, I could of done it different... put my clown in a closet and dressed up in straight clothing. I could of compromised my essence, and swallowed my soul.

Death was Patrick Henry's second choice.

And I also thought that Richard Nixon was the greatest political education we have ever had, but it looks like we need to relearn them again.

Waiting for things to happen is like daydreaming. To break out of that cycle, you must be willing to take the first small step.

The three jewels of Tao: compassion, moderation, and humility. Balthasar said compassion leads to courage, moderation leads to generosity, and humility leads to leadership.

Stop waiting and start working. Stop wishing and start walking.

I just can’t do it anymore. It’s too painful. It doesn't mean I’m over you, it means I’m not going to waste the rest of my life being haunted by your memory.

Speed the soft intercourse from soul to soul, And waft a sigh from Indus to the Pole.

Satire is what closes on Saturday night.

Imagine living in a country where the cops are all people who're cut out for the job.

This nation is the hope of the Earth.

The system of idolatry, invented by modern christianity, far surpasses in absurdity anything that we have ever heard of