The whole romanticized sad clown thing, we have to get rid of that. That has to go. That's just getting sick people to voluntarily stay sicker and sadder than they have to be.

Many comedians - both male and female - do have an "I will never date another comedian" rule.

The best advice I've gotten in terms of that was someone who said, "People will surprise you if you let them."

I think you can make good things happen if you look for them. Life is a very positive thing.

I'm just trying to do my part before I get hit by a bus.

Outside of performing, (a comedian) is someone who is analyzing life, thinking about it and trying to be observing so much. In my opinion, it can make you feel on the outside looking in.

If people tell me something is impossible, I just want to prove that. I want to know that that's for certain. I don't want to not do something because someone says I can't.

Mania is fun. I won't lie, it's fun. But it's usually followed by a soul-crushing depression.

I just like testing myself. I just have that thing in me. Whatever it is that people tell me I can't do, I've gotta try it.

Suicide - when I think of it, to me it means someone had a lot of problems and they couldn't fight through them anymore. That's not cowardly. It's sad and nothing but.

If you are a New York comedian who knows how to improvise and has glasses, you're going to start getting commercials.

To be or not to be. Choose be.

We cultivate our feelings the way we cultivate a garden: we can't entirely prevent weeds from coming up, but we can take care to remove them before they do much harm.

We failed, but in the good providence of God apparent failure often proves a blessing.

I want Scott to look at me the way Patch looks at you.

Cultivate your sense of humour. On life's journey from nappy rash to denture adhesive, humour is a great pain reliever.

In our democracy every young person should have an equal opportunity to obtain a higher education, regardless of his station in life or financial means.

Nothing seems to me more doubtful than Aristotle's remark that it is probable the arts and philosophy have several times been discovered and several times lost.

Unfortunately, many children throughout the UK witness violence in the family home. Let's stand up for those children. Domestic violence needs to stop.

Les trois quarts de nos exercices intellectuels ne sont plus que broderies sur le vide. Three quarters of our intellectual performances are no more than decorations over a void.

All the known world, excepting only savage nations, is governed by books.