The wise people are in New York because the foolish went there first, that's the way the wise men make a living.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

The past always looks better than it was; it's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

Be sure that head and heart were laidIn wisdom down, content to die.Be sure he faced the Starless SkyUnduped, unmurmuring, unafraid.(“The Passing of Bierce”)

I do not believe in karma. However, I practice it everyday because it tricks me into being a better person!

it is (often) the quiet gesture which carries the most significance - the one which suddenly directs the symphony.

No knowledge can summarize humans in one premise.

Boys fight the wars. We’d have the brotherhood of man tomorrow if the politicians had to get out and fight.

This is the worst of our ways of remembering--this tendency to prod the crust of anecdote in the hope of releasing a gush of piping-hot symbolism.

If you're really on top, you probably didn't do that great, 'cause you have to water it down a bit for it to get that mass appeal

When you're doing wrong, you're gonna think wrong.

We will not fall, we will not fail; for our homes will be founded on Jesus Christ.

As a kid, when I got to the edge of a cliff I wanted to jump off. I didn't want to kill myself. I wanted to fly.