The word try, means nothing. There's no such thing as trying to do something. The moment you begin a task, you're doing it. So just finish what you're doing.

House rule number nine. No roach shall drink or eat out of the good cups in the kitchen. The plastic cups are in the pantry.

The trains always arrive at your station. The question is which one to take?

The message has to be sent that if you commit a crime there has to be punishment.

What's life if you're not enjoying it?

Taking mathematics from the beginning of the world to the time when Newton lived, what he had done was much the better half.

That which is really beautiful has no need of anything; not more than law, not more than truth, not more than benevolence or modesty.

I favor the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.

There is one thing the power of God and the power of Satan have in common: Neither can influence us unless we allow them to.

You were first-string running back last year. What happened?” – Coach “Stone’s mouth happened. It needed to be closed, and I was a little too obliging to shut it.” – Nick

Wickedly funny to read and morally bracing as only good satire can be.