The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Most Christians speak to God about their mountain instead of speaking to their mountain about God!

Money is human happiness in the abstract.

No matter how rich a person is, his resources are limited.

Now flip, flop, and fly, I don't care if I die.

The principle of love within us is an attribute of the Deity, and it is placed within us to be dispensed independently according to our own will.

I never rode a motorcycle before CHiPs.

Really, universally, relations stop nowhere, and the exquisite problem of the artist is eternally but to draw, by a geometry of his own, the circle within which they shall happily appear to do so.

And apologies, once postponed, become harder and harder to make, and finally impossible.

The lion cannot protect himself from traps, and the fox cannot defend himself from wolves. One must therefore be a fox to recognize traps, and a lion to frighten wolves.

An artist should use freely whatever materials he pleases.