The world is full of cactus, but we don't have to sit on it

Federalism isn’t about states’ rights. It’s about dividing power to better protect individual liberty.

The older I get, the more I become an apple pie, sparkling cider kind of guy.

If God built me a ladder to heaven, I would climb it and elbow drop the world

Social Security is one of the greatest achievements of the American government, protecting our elderly against poverty and assuring young people of a more secure future.

On the 8th day, God created Mankind. Why was he having such a bad day? Why did he create all of you normal... but forget so many important parts of me?

The greatest barrier to evangelization today is bad example....Our strategy of evangelization must be based upon sanctity, upon our enthusiastic response to Christ's universal call to holiness.

Day offers two equally necessary sacraments - the benediction of morning and the absolution of dusk. In the morning coffee blesses and in the evening wine absolves.

I'm the guy with the good attitude towards menstruation.

I can't jump high, so I jump from high places.

I would rather hurt a man...than love a woman.

We can become inspired to shape a higher, more ideal future, and when we do, miracles happen.

Thanks to Obamacare, millions of Americans can visit a doctor’s office and see what a print magazine actually looks like.

Food is everything. Food, friends, family: Those are the most important things in life.

Inanimate objects are harmless indeed, Mr. Mortmain. But one cannot always say the same of the men who use them.

Grasp the subject, the words will follow.

The best place to find things: the public library.

I just thought, there are very few stories involving me, Anna Nicole Smith, and Jesus.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. And the better the world liked seeing them fall.

I do think that my work has gotten calmer, and that the violence of some of the earlier series was necessary to reach the higher degree of concentration in the later ones.

I want to hang out in Edinburgh with my friends and eat fish and chips wrapped in newspaper.