The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is just turning around as usual.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

The past always looks better than it was; it's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

Your destiny provides you with answers to the questions concerning you overcoming different obstacles, hassles and giving you a vision of your future

Call me crazy for asking this, but, um, are Lissa and I going with you?""No""No?""No.

T.J. Miller and Kumail Nanjiani I met when I was in Chicago, learning how to do comedy.

The piano sounds like a carnival and the microphone smells like a beer. And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar and say, man, what are you doing here?

Things we think of as tremendous advantages can get in the way of being happy, and wealth is one of those things where people can become isolated within this luxury and not connect.

Beatle bones and smokin' stones the dry sands fall.

What many people don't know about 'Peter Pan' is that it's a very violent book and Hook is one of the most finely observed villains ever.

I put a lot of pressure on myself and I think I am quite... well, intense about driving other people.

Nothing in our culture, not even home computers, is more overrated than the epidermal felicity of two featherless bipeds in desperate congress.

Can any church help us to win a war? If you can't help us win a war, then please don't press us.