The world likes humor, but it treats it patronizingly. It decorates its serious artists with laurel, and its wags with Brussels sprouts.

If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

We have nothing to fear for the future, except as we shall forget the way the Lord has led us, and His teaching in our past history.

Talk unbelief, and you will have unbelief; but talk faith, and you will have faith. According to the seed sown will be the harvest.

It is not earthly rank, nor birth, nor nationality, nor religious privilege, which proves that we are members of the family of God; it is love, a love that embraces all humanity.

Our heavenly Father has a thousand ways to provide for us, of which we know nothing.

We are all woven together in the great web of humanity, and whatever we can do to benefit and uplift others will reflect in blessing upon ourselves.

Success is born out of arrogance, but greatness comes from humility.

Mother Nature is the true artist and our job as cooks is to allow her to shine.

Whatever attracts the mind from God, whatever draws the affections away from Christ, is an enemy to the soul.

Nothing in the world is more distasteful to a man than to follow the path that leads to himself.

No matter how hard you try, after the Day there will always be a Night...

At school, everything feels weird. No one looks at me or pays attention to me, no one says hi, no one asks how I am feeling, and everyone is so quite. It’s like I don’t even exist.

All of the monsters in my head were created by people who thought they could make me a porcelain doll marionette of their own design.

I think the little bush is a bit stupid and more or less the puppet of his old man.

I'm very good at daydreaming. Ask any of my schoolteachers.

So they caught Gadhafi in a storm sewer and shot him. Or as they call it in the Middle East, an orderly transfer of power.

I was the best man at my younger brother's wedding and at the time part of my roast to him was I appreciated that he's done the only profession that makes me look good, running a used car dealership.

There's no down time any more.

Those of us who are pro-life should demand more from Congress. While we waste time on stuff like this, genuine legislation to protect life is ignored.