The world's oldest woman passed away at 116. They keep dying. I think that title may be cursed.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

The war had changed him, inside and out, in ways he could never have fathomed.

Immortality may be impossible, but imagine what humanity could learn if we all lived 700 years. We could travel deep into utopia and beyond.

Real feminism is spinsterhood. It's time America admitted that old maids give all women a good name.

Nurture you mind with great thoughts

Love is needed to strengthen the weak; love becomes tyrannical when it exacts obedience from an unbeliever.

One Body, Many Blogs is a nifty look at the mission to cyberspace that Christians, obedient to the Spirit, have undertaken! Read it and be inspired!

When you're taxing bovine flatulence emissions, there's nothing left to tax.

A lot of people had doubts. I tried to tell people I never had doubts.

So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.

Fast fashion communicates to a different audience, to a younger audience.