The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to succeed, saying: There is life, but it's not for you.

There is always time for failure

To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.

The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the yoghurt.

No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.

All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.

Never believe a rumour until you hear it officially denied.

We don't know much about the human conscience, except that it is soluble in alcohol.

The secret of good health and happiness is to have rather small illnesses throughout your life which you can rely on to stop you doing anything you don't want to do.

Hell must be a place where you are only allowed to read what you agree with.

I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print.

A cat’s secrets run so deep that even the cat itself is often unaware. Their mysteries are as natural as whiskers.

The only thing I hate worse than a hero is a stupid hero.

Any noseMay ravage with impunity a rose.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

The problem is Twitter is designing the metaphorical equivalent of a Toyota Prius. A car for the masses. While I want a Formula One race car.

The really simple approach to photography is a great balance to making the films.

What Marie Antoinette was to eighteenth-century France, Mary Pickford is to twentieth-century America.

The cinema was certainly an art, but television can't be, because it is the museum of accidents. In other words, its art is to be the site where all accidents happen. But that's its only art.

You're kidding. I thought all geniuses read Latin. Isn't that the international language for smart people?"-Shane (Glass Houses)

Murder most foul, as in the best it it; But this most foul, strange, and unnatural.