The worst kind of idiot is the one who doesn't think they're an idiot.

There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.

Comedians sometimes forget that there's an audience. You gotta be conscious that you're performing for other human beings.

I hate cellphones. They are not for good, they're for evil. They're for gossip.

If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac.

I never analyze stuff with comedy because it's boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do what you do, and you're either funny or you're not.

I felt very comfortable about myself when I was much heavier. I feel much better about myself from being fit.

As an individual doing a podcast, you don't get even remotely rich. It's not something to do for money.

By the way, to perform in front of Don Rickles, it 's not nerve-wrecking. It 's enjoyable, i am enjoying Jeff Garlin. I hope I perform in front of Don Rickles every night of my life !

You can have practically anything you want in this world, if you have great credit.

Books act like a developing fluid on film. That is, they bring into consciousness what you didn’t know you knew.

Read, mediate and speak the word of God into your mind, soul and spirit.

It is imperative that you grow, because your personal growth and development is one of the most important things to you. Your growth is good for you – it must be deliberate.

The United States and Mexico are trapped - economically, culturally, politically and because of drug crime - in the same continent.

A real man is one who remembers the lady's birthday, but never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers her birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, - is her husband.

We know that the body needs bread, therefore we seek for bread for it: so must we seek for the food of the soul.

In our marginal existence, what else is there but this voice within us, this great weirdness we are always leaning forward to listen to?

Ultimately, censorship comes down to taste. What offends me may enlighten you. Do you want me deciding-based on my taste-what you should or should not be exposed to?

I love challenging the status quo.