The worst thing about losing this job: I’m no longer covered by NBC. I have to sign up for ObamaCare.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

If you didn't make me your world, why should I make you mine?

It’s not God who gave us moral laws, but this doesn’t make them less important

Look behind you in gratitude.Look ahead of you in hope.Look beside you in caution.Look around you in faith.

Placing blame was easier than adding up the mounting figures of what he'd lost.

Every time I set foot on that trail, I feel grateful for the PCTA for doing the work it does to protect and preserve it

I love home. I'll stay up there for days on end, I won't even go down the driveway to look for the mail.

There is a cunning which we in England call "the turning of the cat" in the pan; which is, when that which a man says to another, he says it as if another had said it to him.

I try to meet people where they are.

We are bound only by the limits of our imaginations.

I realize that singing is saving my life, once I started again.