The writing is done on the computer, and the drawing is done by hand. I write, write, write, then I hit the illustration.

Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting.

When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.

If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.

I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.

It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars.

You can write a little and can draw a little, but there's necessarily a limitation on both in a comic strip, since it appears in such a tiny space.

Sticking to my schedule, Ive gotten over seven months ahead, which allowed me to write a Pearls Before Swine movie script for the big screen.

I was a lawyer for 10 years, and when youre in law, things really have to get done, or somebody sues you. Its a great trick.

Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)

If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

My path will weaveThe way you sayThere is no doubtYou'll create the way

The praise of free men is worth having, for it is the only praise which is free from either servility or condescension.

You can only give things up once they start to let you down.

The customer is an object to be manipulated, not a concrete person whose aims the businessman is interested to satisfy.

If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?

The lifeblood of Mercy For Animals is our undercover investigations of animal agriculture.

You have to really have a taste for being alone to be a writer.

Actually, even our virility depends on the gaze and the control of women. Without women, we cannot do anything. I think it's a good thing.

I have begun in old age to understand...that we seldom if ever realize how generous we are to ourselves, and just how stingy with others.

But what is propaganda, if not the effort to alter the picture to which men respond, to substitute one social pattern for another?