Them bats is smart. They use radar!

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Struggles make us a man or a woman! Stay raw, work hard and party harder!

I believe the era of the militant lady is back.

Letting go of someone you loved wasn't hard. There was no word for what it was, because even if you didn't let them go they were still gone.

In a relationship each person should support the other they should lift each other up.

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.

Manhattan... capital of the 20th century, a city that has fascinated me for more than three decades.

Successful cult memes induce intense social interaction behaviour between cult members. This trips the attention detectors.

We are so Post-Modern that we don't realize how Post-Modern we are anymore.

My customers are successful workingwomen.

Terrorists are always a threat to someone. If we'll be scared of them, it means they have won.