Then let's print up some flyers!

I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

Desire is the impulse that sparks the flame.

And will I like being called a jazz-baby? You will love it.

The causal body is the most ancient and timeless part of a person. It has the capacity to know and do things that the physical mind and body cannot.

Thanks to you, we've reached a milestone. The first time in our nation's history that a woman will be a major party's nominee.

Write freely and as rapidly as possible and throw the whole thing on paper.

If one cannot get along without a mirror, even in shaving oneself, how can one reconstruct oneself or one's life, without seeing oneself in the "mirror" of literature?

You sweet…beautiful…lunatic,” he heard himself mutter.

The whole of technology depends on a scientific background, and of course technology can be used for evil purposes. You can't blame science for that.

Comfort kills ambition. Get uncomfortable and get used to it in your pursuit of your goals and dreams.

So the life I have made May seem wrong to you But, I've never been surer It's my life to ruin My own way.