There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can't think of a clever enough idea.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

Is that what you meant when you said the more you love a person the harder your heart breaks?

I do like escapism. I like going to the movies on a Friday night and seeing something fun.

Singleness and marriage are both evidences of God’s grace that are to be experienced and sustained purely by the strength which God supplies.

To fight in another man's armour is something more than to be influenced by his style of fighting.

That’s just silly. Closing a global business in reaction to single-issue national politics is foolish.

In a few years there will be only five kings in the world the King of England and the four kings in a pack of cards.

I feel my shows are like a late-night talk show that we settle down and do every night.

One of the great injustices in fiction is that on the whole people with romantic yearnings have romantic faces. But in real life it's not always like that.

In Europe democracy is a falsehood. I do not know where it will end, but it cannot end in a quiet old age.

As a poet, there is only one political duty, and that is to defend one's language from corruption.