There are atheists and Christians, and there are people in both groups who are a little too heavy-handed.

The Internet is a great place to find unconventional comedy that you can't find anywhere else.

I have a spiritual advisor I call up, when I just feel lost. Lately, I've been talking to God. I developed this dialogue in rehab, this dialogue with God, and every day I talk to God.

I know what you wanted to say, Do you think that electrocution rewired your brain to make you the retard that you are? You can say it, lady.

I had no blood relatives till I made some.

My parents just neglected me, I wasn't abused or anything.

People love to hate. I have a love-hate relationship with the world. The world loves to hate me.

I guess I'm odd-looking. I'm skinny. But I'm not only skinny - I'm oddly shaped.

I'm really ultra-affected by things, I feel things deeper, and I cry at the drop of a hat, and offended and sensitive and I'm almost paranoid very easily, and that's who I am.

I laugh when I see people in pain. Sometimes I think it is a defense mechanism from childhood, where you're in so much pain you have to laugh. It is a survival mechanism.

I was a bad boy as a child.

Pina colada kisses and cocaine nipsnever lie, swear to me that this feeling is real.

God heals as well as God kills.

In the course of a marriage, one accommodates the other.

I look good. I feel good and not to sound conceited I sound great.

Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.

The last stop to protect rights and liberties is the Supreme Court.

Often the masses are plundered and do not know it.

The way is the beginning of all beings and the measure of right and wrong.

The fate of the Empire rests on this enterprise. Every man must devote himself totally to the task in hand.

You know about fixing cars, you're athletic, and you know when to shut up." "That last one isn't a skill." "Honey, trust me. It's a skill.