There are certain relationships I think I'm great at: I'm the world's greatest daughter. I'm a great relative. I believe I'm a great friend.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Love has the mind of a sage, the heart of a saint, and the soul of an angel.

With the magnificence of eternity before us, let time, with all its fluctuations, dwindle into its own littleness.

He ran a gas station down in St. Louis. No, Mahatma Gandhi was a great leader of the 20th century.

What we need are critical lovers of America - patriots who express their faith in their country by working to improve it.

Youcanfooltoomanyofthepeopletoomuchofthetime. See Lincoln 510:35.

That's not a rat, that's my ferret.

I need to be surrounded by people as passionate and as dedicated as I am.

When you can despise death, you have conquered all fears.

Seems to be a deep instinct in human beings for making everything compulsory that isn't forbidden.

There is only one way to receive intellectual respect, and that is to earn it. A degree doesn't mean anything, as there are too many maleducated morons running around with them to impress anyone.