There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Intentions are ambitious liars.

I ask you, what good is a big picture window and the lavish appointments and a priceless decor in a home if there is no mother there?

Very few people look the part and are it too.

Woman is the Sunday of man: not his repose only, but his joy; the salt of his life.

I never do anything that I don't want to do.

There is a way to master silence Control its curves, inhabit its dark corners And listen to the hiss of time outside

Work in nightclubs was interesting. There were interesting people and places, but by and large, the commercial music experience.

But the waiting time, my brothers, Is the hardest time of all.

Why can you believe the lie, but not the truth?

The child is father of the man: And I could wish my days to be Bound each to each by natural piety.