There are few sorrows however poignant in which a good income is of no avail.

The test of enjoyment is the remembrance which it leaves behind.

There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.

When they come downstairs from their Ivory Towers, idealists are very apt to walk straight into the gutter.

Don't tell friends their social faults; they will cure the fault and never forgive you.

The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists the circulation of the blood.

Eat with the rich, but go to the play with the poor, who are capable of joy.

People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.

Happiness is a wine of the rarest vintage, and seems insipid to a vulgar taste.

What I like in a good author is not what he says but what he whispers.

Style is a magic wand, and turns everything to gold that it touches.

The Bible warns us against greed and selfishness, it does encourage frugality and thrift.

This wasn't Weirdville, this was fricking Wonderland. Alice here was all grow up, but she was still chowing down on too much of that psychedelic mushroom.

What the hell kind of man decides to dress up as a bat and run around the city? There's got to be something a little bit loose in there.

A small handgun makes any TV remote control.

No matter how hard you work to bring yourself up, there's someone out there working just as hard, to put you down.

The moon is such a planet, I can’t even stand it. What else is it if it’s not a planet?

Humor is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious.

We need to receive empathy to give empathy.

Crime is only the worst example, but it is a paradigm for other Labour policy disasters. No one tells the voters that crime is falling: let them stay scared senseless.

Love is like a dying ember, only memories remain.