There are just so many funny kids and teenagers. They're just not aware of how funny they are.

Sometimes the funniest people don't know that they're funny - like the administrators in my high school.

I feel like I know a lot of music stuff that most people my age don't know, because people that were slightly older were into it.

The town I grew up in was at least fifty percent Jewish, so every weekend in the 7th grade, we went to Bar and Bat Mitzvahs.

I've been watching a lot of A&E's 'Intervention.' I know that's sort of depressing, but I love watching it.

You feel like you need to deal with a lot if you're from Cleveland, so you learn to let things roll off your back, and you learn that humor is the best way to deal with it.

People who read too many books get quirky. We can't have too much eccentricity or it would bankrupt us. Market research depends on people behaving as if they were all alike.

It was deflating to realize how much my own family's quality of life might improve if I replaced myself with a Fundamentalist stay-at-home daughter.

The dead pull the living down.

When we don’t take God too seriously, others don’t take our leadership too seriously!

If you've got a blacklist, I want to be on it.

Fasting detaches you from this world. Prayer reattaches you to the next world.

Talking nonsense is man's only privilege that distinguishes him from all other organisms.

On connecting: Where does one person end and another person begin?

I knew I wasn't attractive, and I was very happy about that. I didn't want to be attractive. I didn't want to attract. As long as no one wanted to be let in, I didn't have to shut anyone out.

You can't say the public likes generic characters. Give others a chance, go for a more rooted and honest characterisation, take some risk, and then let the public choose.