There are many things that I find attractive about a woman. Foremost to me, of course, would be a sense of humor-but that doesn't come in a bottle.

Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.

The other day I started to take a course in psycho-ceramics. What is psycho-ceramics? It's the study of crackpots.

A woman driver went through a red light. The cop stopped her and said, Lady, didn't you see that red light? The woman said, You've seen one, you've seen them all.

I love Chicago. I got on a bus and asked the driver, Do you go to the Loop? He said, No, I go beep-beep!

The kick [of comedy] is to think quickly. It's a great kick.

You can cut your hair how you want, but I think you should get to where you wear it normal for the future.

Fate will unwind as it must!

PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.

Anything that does not belong where it is, is an "open loop" pulling on your attention.

Birds in their little nests agree; And 'tis a shameful sight When children of one family Fall out, and chide, and fight.

The true system of the World has been recognized, developed and perfected...Everything has been discussed and analysed, or at least mentioned.

Safety is a fence, and fences are for sheep. I would rather die at twenty-two, knowing the truth, then live in a cage of lies for a hundred years.

i wait. with all my dreams, i know her heart, and i know i'm almost there.

Tennis is seen all around the world; if I am home or anywhere in the country, United States, people will stare.

I may be a B-movie star, but I work. I'm an actor.

I hate to lose but having the belt doesn't define who I am. It's how I live my life and what I put into things is what defines me.