There are no happy endings. Endings are the saddest part, So just give me a happy middle And a very happy start.

I asked the Zebra, are you black with white stripes? Or white with black stripes? And the zebra asked me, Are you good with bad habits? Or are you bad with good habits?

When the light turns green, you go. When the light turns red, you stop. But what do you do when the light turns blue with orange and lavender spots?

Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.

Thanksgiving dinner's sad and thankless. Christmas dinner's dark and blue. When you stop and try to see it From the turkey's point of view.

Never explain what you do. It speaks for itself. You only muddle it by talking about it.

What did the carrot say to the wheat? Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet.

And all the colors I am inside have not been invented yet.

But all the magic I have known I've had to make myself.

I can be someone's and still be my own.

Do a loony-goony dance 'Cross the kitchen floor, Put something silly in the world That ain't been there before.

Can a faith that does nothing be called sincere?

If I didn't have my camera to remind me constantly, I am here to do this, I would eventually have slipped away, I think. I would have forgotten my reason to exist.

Never act like you want it, darlin'. Act like you wouldn't own it if they paid you. Tell them it's dirty, broken...a useless thing. Then make an offer.

The will to work must dominate, for art is long and time is brief.

All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.

I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.

I wish you did return my regard," he said. "More than I have ever wished anything in my life! Perhaps you may yet learn to do so: I should warn you that I don't easily despair!

If you don't vote, then you may be leaving the decisions up to someone dumber than you.

There’s no such thing as too much champagne. Though your head will try to tell you otherwise tomorrow.

Hollywood people want to build you up and make you famous only to knock you off you're the pedestal they built for you.