There are no woman composers, never have been and possibly never will be.

The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought.

They are quite hopeless - drooling, driveling, doleful, depressing, dropsical drips.

Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.

The trouble with women in an orchestra is that if they're attractive it will upset my players and if they're not it will upset me.

"Have you heard any Stockhausen?" Beecham was asked. "No, but I believe I have stepped in some."

Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

The sound of a harpsichord - two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm.

Great music is that which penetrates the ear with facility and leaves the memory with difficulty. Magical music never leaves the memory.

There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between.

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

Science is theology for an atheist

Sinful heart blames.

Fashion magazine disease articles. My personal Kryptonite.

You don’t go to a show because you think someone in the band is hot.

I don't recommend washing your face. Because you might drown.

The delirium and horror of the East. The dusty catastrophe of Asia. Green only on the banner of the Prophet. Nothing grows here except mustaches.

I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.

Bought the president the Louis presidential briefcase Never been a cheapskate

Live each moment as if you were going to die the next, and then there will be a great intensity and a great passion. You will be aflame with life. That being aflame is what being divine is to me.

For the most part, I'm extremely thankful for the life I have and what I get to do in the future.