There are only a few things that are more entertaining than watching a cat trying to run across a freshly waxed wood floor after a ball.

Women do not lie about their age. In fact, no woman ever has, its just that memory is the first thing to go.

Word of advice for any young man that might want to take out Malia or Sasha Obama - Their father can order an assassination, don't piss him off.

Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'.

Son, my dad said, every man needs a bitter, resentful woman in his life. Because there's nothing more touching to a mother's heart than to know that her son thinks of her constantly.

Oh I'd be more than happy to hold, I'll just spend the time working on that brain tumor.

If a 6 foot tall talking Badger comes to your door with a great deal on health insurance, be certain to ask if it includes in-patient psychiatric care.

The Black Pit of Despair is temporarily closed for renovations. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Every idol, however exalted, turns out, in the long run, to be a Moloch, hungry for human sacrifice.

The fact is: I no longer believe in my own infallibility. That is why I am lost.

In the end, the only thing between us was silence.

Science should always be in the business of attempting to disprove itself.

If anything terrifies me, I must try to conquer it.

Human society is based on want. Life is based on want. Wild-eyed visionaries may dream of a world without need. Cloud-cuckoo-land. It can't be done.

If there's five dudes on a song, probably three of them are only really good.

The movie says, You can lose your job and your way and still rescue yourself. 'Larry Crowne' creates a self-excavated utopia, and I love that idea, that message.

Words, as you well know, can be powerful. - Digger

Life is denied by lack of attention, whether it be to cleaning windows or trying to write a masterpiece.