There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.

You might say that the universe plays the blues.

If you were Catholic, you'd singe the ears of the priest you confessed to.

With my time in the limelight, I regret that I didnt use it more to push vegetarianism. I support vegetarian options in the school lunch program.

I often tease young people about their concern for how they look; more important is inner beauty - compassion, affection and respect.

They [terrorists] are trying to evoke sympathy for themselves. They're not sympathetic people. They're violent, cold-blooded killers who are trying to stop the advance of freedom.

being asked to decide between your passion for work and your passion for children was like being asked by your doctor whether you preferred him to remove your brain or your heart.

Because if it weren’t for me, Lena and Alex would never have been caught at all. I told on them. I was jealous.

So many people spend their lives chasing money and end up as the richest men in the cemetery. I don't want to be like that.

I never manage to get to bed early on Sunday night but this doesn't matter, as I don't know one level of exhaustion from another.