There are probably some things I could do to keep my flexibility up, but I'd rather smoke, drink diet Cokes and eat.

I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein.

I don't think I've ever stepped into a gym - they won't let me smoke there. I just thank God Miller Lite isn't as fattening as most beers. If I cut back on beer, though, I'd look anorexic.

I was never able to have three of four beers. One's too many, and ten just ain't enough. Basically it's the way I've been since high school.

I hit the ball as hard as I can. If I can find it, I hit it again.

Life is nothing but a memory. People who dwell on the bad ones aren't going to have a whole lot of good ones coming up.

This fitness thing is blown out of proportion. What am I going to do on a treadmill - smoke a cigarette and drink a diet Coke?

I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives. But I'm getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.

My slogan is who needs fitness when you've got great equipment.

I learned you can't drink whiskey and play golf.

Do I have to know rules and all that crap? Then forget it.

We're a team like tea and milk, or cake and custard, or pork and apple.

The best thing to do when you find yourself in a hurting or vulnerable place is to surround yourself with the strongest, finest, most positive people you know.

As the evidence has shown, the cases of voter fraud across the country are statistically minimal if you go back decades.

Public office is the last refuge of the scoundrel.

You definitely meet a lot of extremely powerful, successful, wealthy people in Hollywood who are extremely miserable.

My front door had seen jean skirts, dresses, even a see-through tube dress over a string bikini. A handful of times, spackled-on makeup and glitter lotion. Never pajamas.

God, when he makes the prophet, does not unmake the man.

Well, you can implement a Perl peek() with unpack('P',...). Once you have that, there's only security through obscurity.

What does my soul look like to you?' 'I couldn't reduce it to words if I tried, but its beauty is unsurpassed.

The most baleful mischiefs may be expected from the unmanly conduct of not daring to face truth because it is unpleasing.