There are reports on the news tonight that members of the Taliban feel persecuted and fear their own safety. So now they know what it is like to feel like a woman in their country.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp.

You have three types of friends in life: Friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime.

Obama's folksy come-on is as bad as Madonna's faux British - and both are in need of fresh inspiration.

From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.

The discussion of fur is childish.

We do not invest in advertising... So racing is the best advertising for Ferrari.

Whatever is goode in its kinde ought to be preserv'd in respect for antiquity, as well as our present advantage, for destruction can be profitable to none but such as live by it.

When I am playing well I think I play such boring tennis.

I'm not talking about a "show me other walls of this thing" button, I mean a "stumble" button for wallbase.