There are some people who hate my guts. But that goes with the territory.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

If this cursed and fallen worldholds such beauty as what I see, Imagine the beauty of paradisethat's gladly waiting for me.

A lack of empathy is the biggest crime of all.

We have to be careful that in throwing out the devil, we don't throw out the best part of ourselves.

We give up leisure in order that we may have leisure, just as we go to war in order that we may have peace.

I love being a woman. I like dressing up; I love buying shoes.

We sit and listen and are enthralled anew, for good stories, it seems, never lose their magic.

As an astronomer in the true sense of the term, Sir John Herschel stood before all his contemporaries. Nay, he stood almost alone.

You start at the stupid end of the book, and if you're lucky you finish at the smart end.

I will never have a drink and get behind the wheel of a car. It's not illegal to drink and drive, but there becomes a certain point where it does become a crime.