There are thousands of good reasons why magic doesn't rule the world. They're called Witches and Wizards.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration.

I'm just a girl trying to learn where to put my feet ... and where not to.

We may need to solve problems not by removing the cause but by designing the way forward even if the cause remains in place.

I'm not turned on, so put away that meat you're selling.

Old people think young people haven't learned about love. Young people think old people have forgotten about love.

As long as we keep our fundamentals strong...the dollar (and) U.S. borrowing costs will do just fine.

The mind is not, I know, a highway, but a temple, and its doors should not be carelessly left open.

But it's fun to be something, have that, and you don't have to be real. It's like, comedians. They go on and they're doing all these jokes. I would be like that if I were more awake

Every word was once a poem. Every new relation is a new word.

In a press conference, everyone is required to be like, "I'm just trying to do what's best for the team," but really?! It's a hilarious lie that everybody allows to be told.