There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it." "No, actually it isn't," said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short.

CHERISH a heart like you'd carry an egg, cause when it drops it becomes pieces of shell, never to be MENDED

History is the stories we tell about the past.

Know the true definition of yourself. That is essential.Then, when you know your own definition, flee from it.

I do things in my own way, but I've never felt any need to rebel.

A phone tree isn't an ancient form of political organizing, but you have to call every person.

Christ on a cracker. You raped Achilles!

I often think, no one wants to read this. No one wants to hear this. My own work makes me cringe sometimes, cringe in a "there's nothing I can do because it had to come out like this" kind of way.

A truly poetic canvas is an awakened dream.

I know how men think when they're not responding to questions in a clinical study.

What the vengeance, could he not speak 'em fair?